the girl next door
scream out loud
a blank space.
you're on your way
He is the better planner
Thursday, August 06, 2015It's amazing how within a span of 2 years, you've seen the best (perhaps) and the worst part of me. I suppose we've both learnt a lot throughout the 730 days of knowing each other?
You've given me a lot to think, a lot to feel. I really have got no idea what we were. We openly declared that we were (just) best friends but believe me, if they knew the things we went through, we were definitely more than that.
You've always, always been there for me, always fulfilling my request, always running errands, making me feel secure. You meant the world to me, someone whom I wasn't willing to part with. Ever. You hold such significance in my life till I did not realise the destruction you're doing to me.
Till one day.
I suppose I wasn't able to hold it in anymore. Enough is simply enough. I began to slowly realise that things were not working out. You call it reverse psychology, I call it demoralizing. You called me fat, you said no one will ever want me, you said I have a pretty face but not a pretty body till perhaps, you got complacent. You thought that maybe I'll never leave you because no one will ever want me.
But you got it all wrong.
I'm glad Allah gave me the strength to tell you that enough is enough. My heart got tired of having to take in whatever you throw at me. I'm glad he gave me someone better at such a short span Alhamdulillah.
NHJ, thank you. Thank you for every single thing that you've taught me, that you've advised me on, for all the money you've spent on me, for all the food you've bought for me (and mum), for helping me to run my errands, for all the places you've brought me to, for fetching me home, for always listening to me, for not failing me as a friend, for always being there for me without fail, for understanding me better than I understand myself, for everything else that there's too many to mention.
I hope you'll eventually find someone who is so much better than I was in that 2 years. I hope she can take care of your welfare better than I did. I'm sorry I left.
I just had to move on.