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feelings.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
i hate to talk about this but it's a topic that you can't escape from.the topic I shall talk about today is "feelings".Why must we have feelings?why are we granted the ability to feel?sometimes,I just wish that I had a stone-hard heart.*sigh*its for my own good you know.it all began yesterday...
I was fuming mad with IQ when he did not place my mp3 charger in my locker when he worked the other day.he did not return my calls and sms.i got so fed-up.so, yesterday, I gave him a call.i told him I wanted my charger back and I'll meet him at BB mrt station.at first he told me to meet him under his block.wtf man.5 minutes later,he said he'll meet me at BB mrt station after I knock off from work.by that time, I wasn't so mad at him la.
And then, came the BIG mistake.i told N.dammit.
I sms-ed IQ till the end of work.i asked him whether at west mall there was any starbucks.he said no but there's coffee bean.he also said if I wanna hang out,why not.so after work, i didn't rush to meet IQ.instead, I hang out with my colleagues until he asked me to call him.he was asking where I was,what time I'd be reaching.i lied by saying I was at the bus-stop(but actually I was at Lucky Plaza's Levi's store.haha).after the conversation ended,I left and headed towards the bus-stop.took 106.he complained over the fact I took 106 instead of the mrt.haiyo.
When I reached dover,I called him.he was shocked over the fact that I reached dover so fast as he just wanted to fry some potatoes.i told him to just continue what he was doing.he told me to sms him when I've reached the expressway.done that.i reached around 8.55pm.he reached around 9.10pm.so long sia.the moment I saw him, I was like, THANK GOD!haha.
Went into West Mall and just surveyed the shop.went to OP.he wanted to buy this particular file and wanted to borrow my money.unfortunately,I did not bring my ATM card.haha.too bad.so he had no choice but to leave the file there(he kept talking about the file all the way.felt like punching his face).went into sportslink.look at shoes.he told me not to buy the adidas shoes there as they were too common.went to converse.he pointed out a particular shoe that he had bought.he told me to buy the dark blue version of it cause he actually wanted to get that colour for himself but the converse shop he went to did not carry the colour.haha.die die he told me to get that shoe at that colour.i told him we'll come back again.haha.people kept looking at us.why?a fat girl like me cannot date a handsome guy like him meh?crazy.
When we left West Mall, saw my supervisor, M, at the ATM machine.IQ went over to him so I just tagged from behind.I panicked!M looked at me like as if I had done something that he didn't expect me to do.die.
We walked around the pasar malam at his house.so boring.lame sia.haha!then I told him I wanted to go to the ladies.so he waited outside the ladies for me.came out.he told me he wanted to buy cigarettes.he only had $8 in hand.that $8 was for school money also.so I took out my wallet and gave him $5.the cigarette he bought cost $10.50.waste money sia.so now, plus the coins he have, he had $3++ in his wallet.asked whether it was enough.he said it was and not to worry too much about him.haha.
Then we headed to the bus-stop.we sat down and talked till my last bus arrived.i had no idea what we talked about.it was so freaking long!haha.but.i felt something within me that I haven't felt for a very long time.butterflies in my stomach.dammit.in the bus,I looked at watch.it was already 11.30pm!i actually spend 2 hours with him!haha.i was like, "I can’t believe I spend 2 hours with the guy I once had a crush on and then hated so much!"haha.
Called N up.she asked whether we locked lips or not.OMG!she must be crazy!i was like no la.not until that extend.haha.met si kiat in the bus at Toh Tuck.we were shocked!i was like, "what are you doing here?!" and vice versa.haha.he borrowed $5 from me.see.this people are broke.he asked me whether I wanna hang out with him and jun.i rejected as I was too tired.haha.i called IQ up.we continued talking.then suddenly, my supervisor, NR, called me up.i was like WTH.he asked what I was doing, blah, blah, blah.i suspect that he was with N.i heard her laughter.but NR said it was his gf.WTF man.i linked both conversations cause IQ was complaining that I had to speed up the conversation I had with another party.i linked both conversations together.then NR said he wanted to go to the gents.ok lor.talked to IQ till 12.30am.he needs sleep for school.so we ended the conversation.
And now, by this Wednesday, the whole store would know that I went out with IQ.the internet there is so FAST!dammit.i'm gonna be dead meat.*sigh*
See.i experienced so many feelings.from love to hatred to anger to calmness and back to love.WTF man.
-lost in uncertainties. feels like I'm living a lie every day-