the girl next door

Imma good girl. I'm short, fat & I bite. I love cats. I rot at home all day.

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I've got soul but I'm not a soldier

False pretense
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
As the time goes by, people change- either for the better, or for the worst. Time's moving real fast. Soon, (ok, not so soon), there'll be the BIG number 2 in my age. 20. I wonder what the future holds.

Sometimes, I sit down and think to myself. Friends. Who are they really? Are they suppose to be the ones to be there in times of need when family is not the option to choose? To me they are. Like, they're basically the ones who are mostly there to support you in terms of physically or emotionally. But what are they when you need them the most? What happen to the so called "friends" when you need them most? Doesn't it leave you pondering too? Now now, don't get me mistaken. This is just a random thought. I was thinking of a friend actually. I'm glad that I was there when he needed support. (:

Everyday, I feel that I'm putting on a facade. I may look happy, but deep down, I think I'm messed up. Pretty much messed up. I don't know what's happening around me anymore. Conflicts are showing up here and there and no one's admitting them. It gets revert back to me and it's made seem like as if I'm the one who did it. I'm not assuming it's whoever, but if it's really you, please quit your act and come forth to admit your doings. No point dragging it further and making people into thinking that I'm the one who's going against myself. I may be messed up, but I'm pretty much able to think straight, mind you.

Maturity. At what age does it strike you? How much experience do you have to go through in order to be considered "matured"? How many perspectives do you have to view from in order to be considered "matured"? Is it considered as, the older you are, the more maturely you'll think? The golden question is, am I matured?

Love. How far should we give in to this "love"? Everything? What is everything? What is considered established love? Why do some people get obsessive and possessive when it comes to love? Can one go mentally unsound because of love? Like bgf always remind me, "never get blinded by love". And this should go out to all of you who are in love. And I'm saying this in the context of being in a relationship and not marriage. If I were to talk about marriage, it'd come from a different side of me that you'll be shocked to see. (:

If you're suffering from a break up, live with it. Yeah, it's hard, trust me, it's real HARD, but seriously, live with it. Don't make it seem like you're desperate to get them back cause you think that you love that person so much. Love will find you one day. There's a reason why god created man & woman. Go figure. And please, don't talk about homosexuality with me. That's a different story altogether and I'm in no right position to talk about it. And, I believe, homosexuality is NOT natural. YOU made it happen. Mind over matter kids. And here's my advice to your friends who are homosexual: let them be. Trust me, I learnt it the hard way. Just let them be. It's something shared between them and god. Don't go eew or omg or i-can't-believe-this on them. Don't shun away from them either. Just let them be. They're humans too and humans make mistakes. Just that, they take a longer time to realise their mistake. No wait, maybe they fully know it IS wrong, but like I said, it's something shared between them and GOD. (:

I'm really good at putting on a facade, aren't i?

And please, don't pretend to be someone you're not.


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