the girl next door

Imma good girl. I'm short, fat & I bite. I love cats. I rot at home all day.

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I've got soul but I'm not a soldier

Things will never be the same again
Thursday, September 16, 2010

I've thought for so hard and so long. Is it really worth the wait? I can't seem to find the answer. Patience. It's so easy for people to say, "Patience. It'll come to you" but do they really know how it feels like to wait with uncertainty?

True, I'm the one that allowed myself to succumb to such consequences. Wouldn't you to? Wouldn't one succumb to what they think is "love"? They may be having an open mind and keeping options open but truth is, the heart has settled to one and finding a "replacement" requires the dating party to be a carbon copy or maybe better than what is already etched in the heart; impossible.

Maybe it's just me. Maybe it's obvious that chances are bleak but I choose to think otherwise. But what can I do? I can't even manage to salvage myself. He pushes and pulls me at so many ways than one. When he gives hope, it feels like as if everything's worth it. But when he starts to refrain, the world starts crumbling down.

I'm mentally strained. I'm tired of having to figure out. Somebody, save me.

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